Babies

Posted on April 2, 2011

7


21: Do you want children? Why or why not?

This is a tough one.  I have always looked forward to having children; for most of my life I wanted to be a young mother.  Whether that is because I had one or cultural messages i was inundated with growing up that told me my worth was in being pretty and reproducing, I can’t say.  As I came into feminism I realized how the pressure put on women to have kids distracted them from achieving other dreams or ideals, because let’s be real, women still do most of the child-rearing while men do the “real work”.  That’s the argument floating around most in the Walmart sex discrimination case.. when women asked their supervisors why they were paid less, their (male) managers said it was because men needed to be breadwinners and women belonged at home and working retail wasn’t as serious for them.  What if working retail was paying their way through school? The image of ambitious successful women is not one easily found in our society.. unless of course she’s portrayed as the overachieving bitch who realizes she’s lonely and needs a man and a baby before she’s old and ugly and her ovaries are dried up, because then of course she’s utterly good for nothing (there’s no way she can have any other positive worth in this world, am i right?).  My point with this soapbox rant is that until recently I had not been around women in their late twenties or early thirties who didn’t have children and were focused and driven and ambitious… the women I knew were mothers, perhaps they had a job but they didn’t have any super lofty goals for their lives and they were happy (not to say i don’t have mad respect for these women, being a mother is no joke, you really are in charge of the future).  These new women in my life inspire me.  Even the ones who have children are not content to the mommy routine alone, they have goals and dreams to achieve in their own right.  It all has made me realize that having children too young has the potential to kill my dreams and ambitions, and let’s be real, I have some big goals for my life, I plan on doing a lot of big things.  So i have these two conflicting desires inside of me.  Because, yes, I do want children, but do i really want to be one of those mothers who brings her child to protests and organizing meetings?  What if I get arrested or something bad happens to me as a result of the organizing and action I want to do? How will I go to law school? Will I be lucky enough to find a partner who is content with doing at least half of the child rearing? How will that work financially? If I wind up with a partner who isn’t a cis man, what complications/costs will that bring? All of these very large questions cloud my answer to if I want children.  Sometimes I wonder if my desire for children comes from a desire to “make up” for the fact that I terminated earlier in my life. It’s hard to tease out the reasons why we feel the ways we do.  I do want kids eventually, I just hope all the pieces will fall together in the perfect way to allow me to do so.  Because I”m not willing to give up my ambitions and play housewife.  For anyone, male female or in between or outside.  So, yes, I want children and I hope and pray that the Universe and I can create the perfect situation where I can be a good and attentive mother while not giving up my dreams, have financial stability and time, and a partner who is willing to do more than “win the bread”. I think I’d be a kick ass mom, personally.  My babies will be crazy smart and probably get in trouble in school for correcting the teacher when they’re like 6. It seems like something I don’t want to miss out on, whether it’s biological or societal/cultural or both, or the fact that I want to pass on what I know in the hopes that my kids could be a positive influence in the world after I’m gone, a being to raise the global vibration and have a ripple effect of love and light.  Maybe it’s all of those things.

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30 Day Personal Challenge

1: Name two of the most significant people in your life and explain why.

2: What is your stance on religion? Would you affiliate yourself with any?

3: What band / musician is most important to you?  Explain why.

4: If you could chose a time period to be born at , which one would it be and why?

5: At what age were you the happiest?

6: Name five things from your wishlist.

7: Do you read? If so, what are your three favorite books and why?

8: If you could live anywhere, where would you live and why?

9: How old do you think you act? Explain.

10: If you could only live off of one food and one beverage for the rest of your days, what would they be?

11: What is your favorite quote? How does it relate to your life?

12: What item of clothing do you wear the most?

13: What can you not live without?

14: Name things that you do every day.

15: Who is someone you admire. Why?

16: If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do with your remaining time on earth?

17: What do you want to be when you get older? Why did you choose it?

18: If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would it be? What would you say to them or ask them?

19: What is your favorite film? Why is it so important to you?

20: Would you consider yourself an optimist or a realist? Why?

21: Do you want children? Why or why not?

22: What subject did / do you exceed in / at school?

23: Are you a fan of art? If so, who is your favorite artist? What artistic movement do you prefer?

24: How attractive do you consider yourself?

25: Would you rather date someone plain with an amazing personality or someone beautiful with a plain personality?

26: Choose two: mentally stable, intelligent, attractive. Explain why you chose those two.

27: Which do you prefer: films or television? Why?

28: If you could choose to live forever, would you? Why or why not?

29: Do you wish for anything at 11:11? If so, what do you wish for? Has anything ever come true?

30: What do you imagine your life like at age fifty?

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Posted in: 30 Day Challenge