#10Confessions

Posted on June 7, 2011

0


In no particular order:

  1. I don’t like shaving. Especially my legs. And I usually don’t.  It’s not just laziness, either.  The personal is political, peeps.
  2. I used to look at porn (and probably still would if it wasn’t so degrading to me personally and I didn’t feel that by participating I was aiding the problems of women.. if you’re not a part of the solution you’re part of the problem)
  3. Even though I say I’m a “vegetarian” I eat seafood (especially now that I’m in Hawaii) and I’ll eat chicken if my body is craving it really badly (as I think it means I need something nutritionally).. so really I eat intuitively.  But I’m lazy and hate trying to explain to people the intricacies of my position and having people try to force me into a box as i correct them over and over….. so i box myself for their convenience … i should change this
  4. sometimes when i’m really hung over I have McDonalds chicken nuggets, even though I claim vegetarianism and hate Corporations like McDonalds. Especially McDonalds. I tell myself to choose my battles (and i’m not tryin to battle whilst hungover), but that’s just an excuse and doesn’t push me to take accountability for my positions and actions.
  5. I’m terrified of commitment to one person because I think I’ll miss out on something else, some other opportunity for growth. I’m afraid by doing this i’ll miss someone really really great.
  6. I’ve been living in the closet in a lot of ways since I moved to Hawaii, but that is changing.  I also don’t like to talk about sort of relationship I am in because it’s with a cis man and I hate people thinking I’m straight. Yes, I realize these two thoughts are conflicting, but they’re both true.
  7. Even though I try to decolonize my mind I still suffer from disordered relationships with food and the compulsion to cover my face with fake products to be “pretty”… even though I try to decolonize my mind I still care if people find me attractive which means in some ways i still judge my self worth on this, even though I know better
  8. I’ve had an abortion, but I wouldn’t have another one.  This says nothing of my stance on a woman’s right to choose. I’m also incredibly paranoid of having another unintended pregnancy.
  9. I have never been in a super long term relationship with anyone other than men.  I don’t think this says anything of my sexuality because the desire for it is so strong.  Situations have never worked out.
  10. I’ve never *really* had my heart broken.
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