can i be big spoon AND little spoon?

Posted on September 9, 2011


Feminists not getting “you-know-what” — Feministe.

any feminist, or woman with half a brain, should understand why this is so ridiculous.

First of all, women haven’t been burning their bras for decades, and when the allegation of bra burning first came out it hadn’t even happened yet (though i’m SURE it’s happened since, it is a very clever symbol).

Second most common myth: women want to be “better” than men or dominate them or otherwise emasculate them.  Do some women? Yes. It’s a way to take back power they feel they don’t have because we are systemically oppressed.  Is that a blanket statement that can be applied to “feminism” in general? Not in my opinion.  I think this anxiety about domination is a result of our inability to think of things outside of the “dominant/submissive” dichotomy.  This is a false framework.  One person doesn’t have to be “in charge.”

Third myth: at the end of the day we want to be taken care of. Not saying that it isn’t true for some self proclaimed feminists out there in the world – we come in many forms.  But my kind of feminism is egalitarian.  I don’t want to “wear the pants” and be dominating and then still be taken care of like a child.  I want to give and take, share in the responsibilities and the luxuries.  I want to be little spoon sometimes and big spoon other times. I don’t know why that is such a hard concept to grasp.  If me paying halvsies on a date is emasculating, then perhaps your version of masculinity isn’t compatible with me.  I don’t think men are “designed” that way, they’re programmed that way thanks to cultural norms.

And yeah for those men whose identity rests on being in charge.. let them be that way, and how about they can find a partner who fits into their gender binary?  I don’t go around telling men who aren’t my partner what’s appropriate or how they should behave. that’s just ridiculous.  And I don’t think fox news, of all sources, should tell women how to behave if they expect to get some “you know what”.  All the feminists I know have amazing sex, and the men in their lives (as far as i can tell from our lady talks) appreciate their less passive nature, in and out of the bedroom.  It’s about what you like in a partner, and that’s all.  Live and let live.

Posted in: Faux News, feminism